


Babe It’s Me

by Icylily



Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky likes Captain America movies, Established Relationship, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Texting, silly stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-27 17:06:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17165891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Icylily/pseuds/Icylily
Summary: My first attempt to write English dialogues! I am not a native English speaker so please feel free to correct me ;^)Me = Steve (Yes it’s Steve’s phone and I stole it :D)Winterbaby = BuckyBoth Steve and Bucky are agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.





	1. Chapter 1

Background: Steve and Bucky are on different missions across the globe.

 

Me (22:34): Hey babe Merry Christmas! Just wanna you know I love you and be safe.

Me (00:23): I miss you so much. Text me if you can.

Winterbaby (04:36): Merry xmas pal. Is everything okay?

Me (04:37): Yeah just thought about you.

Winterbaby (04:37): You still up?! Damn what time zone is that?

Me (04:38): I donno my head is heavy :(

Winterbaby (04:38): GO GET SOME FUCKING SLEEP. Will send you a present in three hours. Bucky Out.

Me (04:38): Okay :)

Winterbaby (07:30): Steve, make sure you don’t click on them in public. And don’t do anything stupid till I come back. Love you <3

_File “what am I doing when I think of steve.flv” sent._

_File “what am I doing when I think of steve.flv” received._

Me (09:12): Morning babe, or good night.

Me (09:30): WTF is that? Is that your fucking finger? What is it doing in that fucking hole????

Me (09:32): Babe are you cheating on me?

Me (10:00): Gonna go. Please explain that Bucky. I am not happy and certainly not impressed.

Winterbaby (14:17): ???? What the hell are you talking about? I thought you’d love it.

Winterbaby  (14:20): Wait did you open the second video?

Me (15:03): There is a second one?

Winterbaby (15:23): Gosh shitty Internet… I’m sending you the second one and that’s it. I swear I am NOT cheating.

Me (15:24): Okay. Don’t mind if you rest first. It must be late over there.

Winterbaby (15:25): Hell no. Here it is. Still, for your eyes only.

_File “what am I doing when I think of steve (2).flv” sent._

_File “what am I doing when I think of steve (2).flv” received._

Me (15:40): So that is U? Alone? All the time?

Winterbaby (15:40): Sure who else can I be with???

Me (15:41): Babe that’s so hot, and i’m so hard and the closest restroom is 2 miles away >:(

Winterbaby (15:41): Not my problem you little punk. Wanna me stop the sexting?

Me (15:43): Oh Bucky...

Me (15:43): Please don’t.

Winterbaby (15:44): >:P

Winterbaby (15:44): Dude seriously we need to upgrade our data plan.

Me  (15:44): Agree.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Winterbaby: Steve!

Winterbaby: What the hell is that??

Winterbaby: <https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph577198fe1e8fd> [Note from the author: be careful this website contains adult content, gay porn specifically.]

Me: What are you doing on the Internet?

Winterbaby: Nothing. Normal intel stuff, you know.

Me: What kind of mission involves collecting intel on PornHub?

Me: Did Furry know about that?

Winterbaby: None of your fucking business. Now answer my question.

Me: I can’t. I’m in the middle of a dinner.

Winterbaby: Do I look like I give a shit?

Me: With the President.

Winterbaby: President? The President?

Me: The President. It’s the end-of-year reception. Here’s a picture.

_Picture sent._

Winterbaby: Damn you are literally in the White House! Why didn’t you tell me?!

Me: I wrote you a note. It’s on the fridge.

Winterbaby: Like I am still reading a handwritten note from a fridge! Shit did I embarrass you?

Me: I didn’t click on the link. BTW I remember to mute my phone this time :)

Winterbaby: Stop :) me! I send you a fucking porn when you are having dinner with the President of the United States. I wanna shoot myself.

Me: Please don’t.

Me: Bucky?

Me: Bucky are you alright?

Winterbaby: Leave me alone.

——Ten minutes later.

Me: Bucky that’s not me. Look closer, it’s a 3D animation.

Winterbaby: Don’t tell me you are fucking watching it.

Me: Yeah, in the restroom, with my headset on. And I would never ejaculate so fast. Less than 30 seconds? You gotta be kidding me.

Winterbaby: That’s true, although you do have a dick like that.

Me: You know me so well babe.

Winterbaby: Still busy?

Me: Nah. I am sneaking out.

Winterbaby: Come on man, sneaking out from a White House dinner? Sam will cry.

Me: Why can’t I? Same thing every year. Besides I can watch it from YouTube.

Winterbaby: You’re unbelievable.

Me: Thanks for the compliment.

Winterbaby: …

Winterbaby: Ok I want that dick to call into duty in ten minutes.

Me: I’ll try but security is insane here.

Winterbaby: … you got twenty.

Me: On my way.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Winterbaby: Steve, check this out.

_Winterbaby sends you an URL._

Me: What is that Bucky? It prompts me to a website and asks me if I wanna download sth.

Winterbaby: Just click yes. It is the newly released Captain America: The Winter Soldier.

Winterbaby: Isn’t it cool? I’ve been searching it for hours. My phone is full but I guess yours still gets some room.

Me: Bucky that’s illegal.

Winterbaby: But the website is in Russian.

Me: It doesn’t matter.

Winterbaby: But I am a special agent. I can claim it is for work purpose.

Winterbaby: Can I?

Me: I’m pretty sure it won’t work. Let’s order a blu-ray.

Winterbaby: Fine.

——Fifty minutes later.

Winterbaby: Steve did you place the order?

Me: Not yet.

Winterbaby: Then don’t, cuz you can watch the full movie here.

_Winterbaby sends you an URL._

Me: Ugh babe…

Winterbaby: What?

Me: This one looks even more suspicious. I have multiple messages popping out and the anti-virus program is acting crazy.

Winterbaby: Hold on.

Winterbaby: Gosh I think I screwed up big time.

Me: Give me a sec to reboot the phone.

Winterbaby: Steve are you there?

Winterbaby: I’m so sorry man. Just wanna save us some money.

Me: I’m cool babe, but promise me don’t pirate movies from the Internet. It is illegal and beyond our knowledge.

Winterbaby: Lesson learned.

——Seven hours later.

Winterbaby: Babe guess what? My co-worker gave me a DVD and it is the goddamn Captain America.

Winterbaby: Fuck I’m such a badass on the cover.

Winterbaby: You look good too bro.

Winterbaby: When are you off work?

Me: Sorry just see the message. Crazy day in the field. Long story.

Me: I donno how long it gonna take. Just watch without me babe.

Winterbaby: No I can wait. Not without you.

Me: Go ahead. I know you’ve been waiting for it. Plus I’ve watched it in the theater with Sam.

Winterbaby: Really?! Without me? My heart is fucking bleeding :(

Me: I’m sorry but you were on the run. And I missed you so much.

Winterbaby: So you’re saying it’s my fault.

Me: I’m really sorry Bucky. I don’t mean that. I heard Marvel Studio did a fantastic job in casting so I was kind of intrigued. And back then we were making no progress. I wanted to revisit our life so bad.

Me: Babe can you forgive me?

Me: Babe? Bucky??

_Your friend Winterbaby posted a picture on Instagram._

Me: OMG Bucky THAT IS NOT CAPTAIN AMERICA.Take it off!!!!!

Me: Bucky pick up the phone!!!!!

Me: You jerk delete that photo!!!! You’ll get yourself in trouble!

Winterbaby: Quiet Steve I’m enjoying the movie. Why Sharon is a dude? Wait what the hell are you two fucking?

Me: BECAUSE IT ISN’T THE RIGHT MOVIE!!!!!!!

Winterbaby: WTF... T’Challa??? In that stupid uniform??? Seriously??? How can you even do that with a straight face? I can’t believe this kinda shit is allowed in theater. 21st century is crazy.

Me: I am begging you, stop, and take that photo off.

Winterbaby: Wait that’s me! God I am smoking hot. Oh shit, what’s going on? Am I … SHIT! SHIT! SHITTTT!!!! I AM FUCKING YOU AND YOU ENJOY IT.

Me: Just stop for the love of God.

Winterbaby: What the hell is going on? I can’t continue now my eyes are bleeding.

Me: Have you ever read the fucking title in full?

Winterbaby: It says “Captain America - A Gay XXX Parody.” Steve what is a parody?

Me: I’ll explain that later. Pls, take off the photo you just posted.

Winterbaby: Of course.

Winterbaby: Shit why people are all liking it! Never got so many likes before :\

Me: YOU HAVE TO DELETE IT.

Winterbaby: Yes Captain.

Winterbaby: Great now Nat and Clint are bombing my inbox. And Furry just kicked me out of the group chat.

Winterbaby: My co-worker is so dead!

Me: Let’s do some investigation first. He could be a Hydra undercover.

Me: Do not destroy the DVD. Wait until I get back.

Winterbaby: Whatever you say honey.

 

(Bucky gets freaked out because he is used to being on the bottom, but perhaps that video would enlighten him XD)

 


End file.
